The elephant thinks for a moment. "You wouldn't happen to be a sous chef, would you?" he asks.
"Nope," you reply.
"Work a dangerous job?"
"No."
"Mine for gold?"
You shake your head.
The elephant goes back to thinking. "Wait a minute, I think I have an idea! 'Opposite, Attached!'"
"...'Opposite, Attached'?" you ask.
"Yes! It's one of the most highest rated shows on the network! Have you not heard of it? Each season, we find two individuals and have them live together. They compete in challenges every week and, if they win, earn prize money. Here's the gimmick: Every pair we choose is completely the opposite the each other in some way. Last season, we paired an opera diva who hates rap music with a rapper who doesn't like opera! It was hilarious! One of the challenges made them write a song together! Great television!"
"So, is this a show I can be on?" you ask.
"I think you can! We just need to find the right opposite for you, and I think we have a concept that will bring in the ratings!" The elephant sounds incredibly enthusiastic about this.
"Who would I have as an opposite?" you inquire.
"If I can pull some strings, I might be able to sign, get this, Brian The Binge King!"
You stare at the elephant for a moment. "Umm...who is Brian the...Binge King?"
A look of confusion crosses the elephant's face. "Have you been living under a rock or something? Brian the Binge King! The Lion Lord of Lard himself! He's only one of the greatest competitive eaters of this or any other generation! Last week, the guy devoured 107 hot dogs in under five minutes! It was a new world record!"
"But this doesn't make sense. I'm the opposite of a competitive eater?"
The elephant let out a loud laugh. "You haven't seen the guy, have you? He's absolutely massive. Easily, what, ten times your size? Brian doesn't bother getting weighted very often. I think he past a half-ton about two years ago. But that's where you two differ: Super skinny and super fat! Opposites... Attached! What do you say, pal?"
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