I look him in the eye and said. "What is it you want?" The tall man snarled "I want all your money" as he brandished a knife. "All MY money," I laughed, "I only have 73 cents of MY money - happy to give that to you though if it sees you through." (There was no way a knife, even attached to a three foot arm, would be able to reach me from the other side of the counter.
The tall man with the spikey hair looked dumbstruck (emphasis on dumb) and then recovered saying, "You smartass. I meant all the money in the register."
I admit, I am a born smartass. I said, "That money doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the gas station. You know that logically it is impossible for me to give you what I do not possess. This is not my money and I therefore cannot give it to you. Technically, I would be stealing it from the gas station to give it to you."
"Just shut your freakin' mouth and give me all the money you can get your hands on. " he said with rising irritation.
I smiled again and congradulated him on being on a future episode of, "America's Dumbest Criminals" Now looking bewildered, the tall man said, Just what's that supposed to mean?"
"Well" I replied, "I'm surrounded by bulletproof glass, you are on camera, I've signaled the police with an alarm button under the counter, and I've electronically locked the doors. You should have settled for my 73 cents I offered."
"Oh yeah, one more thing, your little girly there is a juvenile so will probably get a sweet deal at juvie for ratting you out."
"Aw, c'mon man, I was just joking, c'mon let us go." the tall man pleaded.
"Sorry," I said. "The joke stopped being a joke when you pulled out the knife. You'll have lots of times to joke with the guys in prison. I'm sure you will amuse them to the end." I smirked.
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