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Chapter #4

Miranda Goddard, aspiring actress!

    by: Bobo the Hobo
From the Dithyrambs of Ancient Greece to more modern productions in playhouses, the theatre has always been a popular staple in society. While movies and television are no doubt popular today, there are some who feel that they can get more enjoyment out of the simpler of the arts. For them, watching a story unfold before their very eyes is ultimately more satisfying than a polished, cleaned-up version behind the television screen. There are many young people around the globe who dream of becoming actors. So it should come as no surprise when I say that Buttercombe Academy, ever eager to please its girls every ambition and desire, has long fostered a healthy atmosphere for the theatre.

They’ve allowed many a performance, at least two per semester. There are several theatre classes, ranging from ‘Into’ to ‘II’, as well as a Drama Club for those who are interested in the art but find their schedules far too muddled to join a class. Last year’s shows were fantastic, both drew quite a crowd. ‘Angel Street’, with Farah Hamilton as Bella Manningham and Sierra LeBlanc cross-dressing as her husband Jack, fit the October month with which it premiered wonderfully. They filled the auditorium that night! ‘Grease’ went over smoothly too—the moment when Sandy’s (Beth Tibideaux) accidentally nip slipped out of her too-tight dress became so infamous that the crowds came back a second night to see if it would happen again!

Since Buttercombe Academy was an all-girl’s school, every part was played by a young woman. It seemed a little strange to question why the titular character in ‘MacBeth’ was quite so… titular, but most crowds overcame the obstacle before the end of Act I. But policy was policy—most girls actually appreciated the ability to broaden their range of playable characters.

That all being said, it was a new semester in Buttercombe Academy, meaning it was time for a new show to be selected. About two weeks ago, Ms. Sarah Walker had held auditions for ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and everyone eagerly awaited the results. Though it must be said that not everyone waited with the same… tactic. Since there was such a long time between auditions and the actual casting, some of the troupe’s more “morally ambiguous” members were not above bribery in the most delicious sense of the word.

“MMmhmm… alright girls, settle down!” cried the portly woman as she held one thick arm in the air, motioning for the gaggle of gals to simmer their tempers while munching on yet another one of Veronica Darnell’s bribery brownies with the other, “I’m going to post the roles on the board outside, nobody gets a look until I say so, alright?”

The crowd of twenty-something girls nodded excitedly as they watched their roly-poly director waddle down the hall and out the door, leaving them alone to talk amongst themselves… and at once the whole room erupted.

“What part did you go out for?”
“Oh I hope I did well!”
“You know Veronica’s just gonna…”
“I made so many brownies for that bitch, I better be Juliet!”

However among them was one especially determined aspiring star, Miranda Goddard. She had actually been enrolled in Buttercombe Academy because of her good grades, but it was in arriving there and witnessing the greatness of “a Midsummer Night’s Dream” that she realized her true passion in Drama. After Winter Break she joined the Drama Club and began auditioning for parts. So far she had always been less successful than anticipated, landing only bit parts and stagehand if anything. But her role as one of Frank N. Furter’s guests in ‘the Rocky Horror Show’ had caught Ms. Walker’s (then only an assistant director to Mrs. Tuttle) attention, apparently…

So she practiced and practiced, learning the lines and doing whatever she could to help them sink in. Every time she auditioned she got a little bit further up the ladder as far as importance went. After weeks and weeks of studying the roles, really trying to “feel” the character, she managed to get the role of the mother in ‘Our Town’. Unfortunately, the months before each production she was in also accumulated to plenty of stress eating, which wasn’t so good for her girlish figure. Her strong, sturdy shape had softened noticeably over the years. Her middle had widened and puffed into a pleasant pot belly with matching love handles, and her legs had thickened and ripened into the womanly gams today. Try as she might to quell her appetite under pressure, Miranda wasn’t much for handling such a stressful environment…

She remained quiet, silently praying to herself that she managed to get a part. Any part. Well, a part with lines. A part with lines this time would be nice.

Not long after Ms. Walker exited the doorway, she waddled right back in again with a pleasant smile on her chubby face. She had apparently finished her brownie while out there, which was a bit of a shame. Miranda could’ve used something to snack on…

“Alright girls, cast is up on the board!” she cheered, “They’re in alphabetical order from Abram to Tybalt, so just let me—“

They didn’t for their director to finish her sentence before the mob of pudgy princesses rushed her, attempting to pass her incredible bulk. It didn’t work out so well in the beginning, the poor portly woman was lodged in the doorway with Harriet and Veronica for a while, but eventually she was surpassed and the crowd rushed outside. Miranda included.

She elbowed her way to the head of the crowd, getting a good look at the sheet above her.

“Miranda, Miranda, Mirandaaaa…” she murmured to herself as she placed a pudgy pointer finger on the list of names, poking the paper and dragging it down as she searched for what part (if any) she managed to get…
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