You stood there at the doorway to Sarah's room, obviously happy to see her up and chatting away happily with Deborah and, from the look on Deborah's face, you could tell she was more than ecstatic at the prospect. You didn't have any children of your own so the idea of losing a child, at any age really, was a remote concept to you. You had sympathized with her on the loss and, while Sarah was still somehow alive, you realized something else at that moment.
You were, for all purposes, a widower.
Sarah wasn't alive, there wasn't any connection to her in any sense of the word. For public purposes, your wife was going to be put into a casket and cremated, her ashes then taken to the lake by her parents' house to be scattered. You already dreaded the conversation you would have to have with her parents, her sister (the one that you had helped care and taken care of when her own husband passed on), and the stunned look on your niece's face when you had to tell her that her favorite aunt had passed on. All the while, you had to put on a brave face and march to those orders, knowing full well that a portion of Sarah's brain was inside the girl now propped up and covering her mouth as she laughed.
Body suddenly drained of all energy, you leaned against the side of the doorway for strength and for solace. There was just too much for someone to take in and deal with, especially someone in your shoes at the moment. Would it be fair to all of those other people for you to do something as insane as marry someone you had barely known, all for the convenience of being close to a person you no longer could recognize or deal with? Would it even be right for you to look at another woman, to play off the joint idea that you would "'share" Sarah? Was Sarah even there anymore?
As a nurse spotted you outside of the room, and having recognized you, she had a smile on her face as she stood from her station and started to walk over to you. You didn't pay her much attention but raised your hand to stop her and she paused, the smile being replaced by a look of confusion and puzzlement. Time slowly seemed to stop for the two of you (you by the door and she a few steps from her station) before you shook your head and slowly pushed off from the door and stepped a few paces back. "Don't say anything..." you whispered to her and the nurse's face dropped as she turned and looked into the room. Sarah had given Deborah a warm hug, the older woman patting her on the back and brushing a few tears from her cheeks. By the time the nurse turned around, you were already down the hallway at the elevators with a look of the lost splashed over your face.
It was going to be a hard, long night to follow...