“We are here with local school teacher Nancy Walles, where she has just foiled an attempted robbery saving an elderly woman form the gunpoint of an armed thug,” the reporter told the camera.
Nancy was a 42-yar-old middle school teacher who had slowly been burning out over the last 4 to 5 years, mostly form he jokes her students made about her ass behind her back. Nancy had a truly enormous ass, 72 inches of ass. And on a 5 foot 5 inch body it really gave her an exaggerated pear shape, and right now she listened as this reporter was telling the world how a ton of adipose tissue attached to her lower back just saved a woman’s life. “Kill me now,” she whispered to herself.
“Ms. Walles saw this woman,” the reporter watched on a monitor as a picture of an elderly white haired woman in a red and white velvet dress holding her head and picking herself up of the sidewalk flashed onto the screen, “Brittney Claus, (Really? Claus? Like Santa? Okay,) attacked by a man identified as Leroy Wong-Hernandez,” a picture of a man of Eskimo descent flashed on the screen, “and Ms. Walles threw herself into the air, butt first, and knocked the gun form his hand as she sat on top of him, pinning him to the ground, until police arrived. Ms. Walles would you like to comment on this?”
“Uh, no. No I would not,” Nancy replied, desperate to get away from this butt focused spotlight.
“Would you like to comment on Mr. Wong-Hernandez’s accusations that you farted on him repeatedly as you pinned him to the ground?”
Nancy was appalled by the accusation, admittedly she had let a little one out as she sat there for the 20 minutes it took the police to arrive, but it was a total accident! And certainly she didn’t do it repeatedly! “Lies! Total lies! I didn’t fart on him! Repeatedly. Listen I’ve got to go,” Nancy scurried off camera as fast as he could, much to the reporter’s annoyance.
“So freaking embarrassing,” Nancy complained as she fished through her pocket book or her car keys. She was so engrossed with getting away from the humiliation she was feeling she failed to notice the shadow creeping up on her.
“Excuse me Ms. Walles?” Nancy jumped, scared by the sudden person behind her. She turned to see it was the woman she had saved before, Brittney Claus. “Can I talk with you?”
“Yeah, yeah sure,” Nancy breathed a sigh of relief.
“Good, my last name isn’t just a coincidence. I really am Mrs. Claus, the wife of Santa Claus.”
“Oh-kay,” Nancy replied, her sense of fear and unease rising again.
“I know it sounds fantastic, but it’s related to why I was here to begin with. It is time for me to retire, and I was looking for a woman to take my place, since there must always be a Mrs. Claus.”
“Okay, but I don’t understand what this has to do with me,” Nancy asked skeptical of the truth in the story.
“I would like to offer the opportunity to change your life forever, to be a mother to all the children who have been burning you out, to get away from all the jokes about your butt, to find someone who would love you an the size of your booty. Do you think you would be interested in that?”
Nancy gulped, this woman seemed to know things about her that she shouldn’t have, but truth be told, it did sound like a dream come true right at this moment. If she had to tell the truth then, “Yes. Yes I think I would be interested in something like that.”
“Good,” Brittney smiled. She took Nancy’s hand in her own and used her other hand to place an object inside of Nancy’s trembling palm. “Place this on your finger, and your transformation will begin.” Nancy looked down into her hand and saw an elaborate wedding band. Looking up she saw that Brittney Claus was now gone.
“Oh my God. I think this is for real,” Nancy gulped as she gripped her future in her hand.
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