Natasha's fanged mouth almost splits open in a swaggering grin as she tips her tricone hat at you. "Avast, tiny! Got yerself tangled there, eh lassie? Now, what's a wee bilge rat like you doin' in Captain Natasha's quarters?" The delusioned spider-giantess skitters towards your tangled form, her spindly legs clattering on the concrete floor all the while. Natasha towers over you, her human upper portion blocking out the light, and you can't help but gulp.
Fighting down a whimper, you try to answer. "N-nothing, M-Miss Natash--"
"ARGH! Stop that blasted lubber-talk this second!" Natasha growls, cutting you off. She punches a wall to to punctuate the threat, shutting you up right quick. "Listen here, you yellow-bellied little barnacle-shit: I am NOT a 'Miss'! You'll address me as Captain Natasha, and nothing else! 'Miss' be for callin' little prisses on land that be good fer nothin' but robbin' or blastin' holes through the their bloody petticoats with a broadside! Do I look like one of those fancied-up little wenches, little lubber?" She scowls and crosses her arms, seeming to eye you for the first excuse to make you a meal.
...Still, she hadn't eaten you yet, and she seemed to be giving orders (like, what else, the captain of a pirate ship) rather than teasing prey. Maybe you could still get out of this!
"Er, no Captain Natasha. Not in the least...arrr?" You add the weak growl as an afterthought, shrugging as much as you can with the binding web.
Natasha chuckles and shakes her head. "I enjoy t' proper respect, lassie, but...leave talkin' like a sea-dog t' the actual pirates from now on. Bloody 'ell, you're awful at it!"
Ignoring the insult, you fake a chuckle. "So...what now, er, Captain?"
Much to your surprise (and fear), Natasha reaches down and pinches you out of her web between her thumb and index finger, picking the remaining silk off you with her other hand.
"Well, since you asked, lassie...I'm plannin' a mutiny! Ain't right at all to go puttin' the Captain in the brig, and without charges at all! Every swab 'round this bloody place goin' on about how I'm off me rocker! Me! The legendary Captain Natasha, the Black Widow of the Seven Seas! Tell me, lassie: could anyone with their screws loose fight alongside Nelson at Trafalgar, as he sank the dreaded Titanic? Or survive the bloody days at Midway, facin' down the cursed Aztecs? Or brave the treacherous waves of the Black Sea, fightin' off the scurvy-ridden Irish?!"
You very, VERY nearly start laughing right then and there. Natasha wasn't just deluded into thinking she was a pirate, she didn't know a goddamn thing about sailing! Where did this overgrown arachnid learn her history, a Cracker Jack box? (Seriously, the Titanic being sunk by Admiral Nelson? Aztecs at MIDWAY?!) But thankfully for your well-being, you manage to stay serious.
"No, Captain! It'd take a strong, clear mind to survive battles like those!" Mentally, you add Coming up with them, on the other hand...
Your answer must have stoked Natasha's ego something fierce, for lets out a loud, hearty laugh that fills her room, and dispite the fact that she's a man-eating, pirate obsessed lunatic you want to laugh too. She's crazy, but...she's got charisma, you have to admit!
Natasha fans herself with her hat, the last of her laughter ending. "Ha-ha-ha! ...Well, lassie, about that mutiny I'm plottin'...looks like I just found me new First Mate!"
...Oh, fuck.
"Er, I'm not so sure about that, Captain. After all, I'm just a little lubber..." You stutter, trying to get out of this.
"Nonsense, me girl! You'd make a fine addition to me crew; I'd be proud to have ye aboard on me adventures! Why, what with ye bein' so small--no offense!--Ya could sneak and slither 'round this overgrown brig easy, and find a way out! None of the others here would give ya a second look!" Natasha is jovial, but her big grin melts away a bit. "A'course, if yer too bloody yellow to want out of here, I be ye taste better than the blasted gruel they been servin' me..."
"N-NO! I want out as much as you do, but..." Dammit, if you didn't help this wannabe pirate, you were lunch! But there was no way her so-called 'mutiny' could work!
...Right? Maybe you'd get lucky and get out of here!
But then you'd be responsible for letting a man-eating psycho out of captivity!
What the hell were you supposed to do?!
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