As we ran along with the dress-up sword and sandal army guys, I glanced over to Aaron. His blue glow was back—and he seemed even more buff than before. He wasn’t a match for these rippling-muscle play actors, but he was definitely on his way. He looked much more muscular than he had this morning at the start of the race.
Noticing my eyes on him, Aaron glanced back to me as well. I watched his eyes go wide as he saw me.
“What is it?” I whispered for no good reason. The soldier-types were close enough that they could hear me whether I was whispering or not.
“It’s you! You’re looking super fit!”
“I am?” I looked down. The previously small bulges of muscle in my arms were becoming more significant. They looked incredibly defined, as if they were carved from marble like a Greek statue. With arms like these, I could get a role in the next Wonder Woman movie as one of those amazon fighters. The thought made me smile… which caused Aaron to give me a questioning look.
I wanted to stop and see what my abs and legs looked like, but I wasn’t sure how these guys would react to me suddenly stopping. I didn’t want to be speared from behind by accident by a solider that was slow to react, that was certain! So I kept running, albeit itching with eagerness to check my new crossfit-esque self out.
Wait! Greek statue… GREEK! You know, that’s what these guys’ outfits were reminding me of, now that I thought about it. It was like we were on some sort of movie set that was being filmed in Hawaii. How had we ended up in Hawaii, though?
I looked at the plants along the beach where we were running. While I had never been to Hawaii, the flora didn’t really look like what I would expect to see in Hawaii. Things looked a bit drier and less dense than I would expect, given the pictures I had seen. I also wasn’t seeing any coconut trees or palm trees. Maybe we weren’t in Hawaii.
The obvious suddenly struck me. We were in Greece.
“Are we in Greece?” I said out loud.
One of the soldiers turned to me and gave me an incredulous look. I looked back at him and shrugged sheepishly. I took that as a yes.
I mean, if we were going to be suddenly transported from our Spartan race in Washington, why was Greece any less likely than Hawaii? Actually, given the name of the race, Greece was very appropriate.
“Hey! Are we in Sparta?” I asked loudly.
“Of course,” answered the man who had initially spoken to us. “Where else would we be?”
Holy shit! Aaron and I really were in Greece. Unable to help myself, I asked another question.
“Hey, what year is it?” I asked.
“What? What kind of question is that! Are you one of those stupid Athenians with your sometimes 12-, sometimes 13-month calendars? It’s no wonder you’re confused about the year. I would be too if I lived in the Gods-forsaken land…” He began to grumble, punctuating his under-the-breath comments with the occasional epithet about Athenians.
Athenian calendar? Of course, he wouldn’t just give me the year in BCE or whatever. The modern calendar probably hadn’t even been invented yet! Even if he had given me a straight answer, I probably wouldn’t understand it…
…which meant I had traveled ThrOUGH TIME AND SPACE BACK TO…
Fucking Sparta!!!
Omigod, omigod. OH MY GOD!!!
What had I gotten myself into here? Damn Rick and his fucking Spartan race! I had thought I was in over my head before… Now, I would give anything to be back to that level of over-my-headness.
Holy shit!
What was I going to do?
I looked back over to Aaron, who looked as stunned as I probably did. Apparently, he had come to a similar conclusion after hearing their answers to my questions.
We looked at each other, the color draining from our cheeks. Our mutual looks both said one thing.
We were in deep shit!
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