“Uh, sure. What brand?”
“A pack of Newports and a pack of Marlboro reds,” Amy replied, handing you a twenty dollar bill.
“Okay boss, will do,” you replied. You started to leave the office when Amy called for you again.
“Aaaaand a pack of VS 120s and a pack of camel crush,” she said, handing you another twenty. You wondered why Amy needed a variety of cigarettes. When you got to the counter and told the large bearded man working what you needed, you spotted a pack of orange cigarettes behind the counter. American Spirits. That’s what Amy usually smoked.
You paid the man and made your way back to the store and walked to the office where Amy was still in the same spot. She had lifted her shirt up exposing her cute pudgy belly, which she was rubbing.
“Oh, I gotta quit eating so much,” Amy said, before letting out a huge burp.
“Uhhh okay,” you said. “Here’s your cigs. Can I ask why you got all of the different brands?”
“Shut the door,” Amy said. You looked out the door and saw no one was nearby. You wondered what would was found to be so top secret.
“Okay. Stay with me. I’ve been posting smoking fetish videos on YouTube for about the last six months.”
“Smoking fetish? What’s tha-“
“Just shut up Ben and listen. Anyway, I started a patreon, and now a few hundred men, and a few women, basically pay me to create this content. I love smoking, and they like watching, so it’s win-win. A lot of my patreons suggested videos of me reviewing other cigarette brands, and they all pointed me to the same account, this woman ‘Ms. Liz’s Cigarette Reviews.”
“Okay, I get it I guess, you really don’t have to-“
“Damnit Ben, just listen. So I watched a lot of her videos. She smokes, her husband doesn’t. So she’ll review the cigarette, and she blows her smoke in his face and he reviews it from like a ‘second-hand smoke’ viewpoint. And her viewers love it. She has over 5000 patreons, Ben, 5000. Can you believe that?”
“I don’t even know what a patreon is…”
“So I want to follow suit and make similar videos. I know my smoking style is sexier than hers. My drags are deeper, my exhales are thicker…”
“Didn’t you say her husband helps? Like when I started here two years ago, you were going through a divorce…”
“Yes Ben, that’s why you’re here. You’re cute and insightful. I want you to be in videos and let me blow my smoke on you.”
You hated smoking.
“On me? Don’t you mean at me?”
“Nope, on you. Here’s how I’ll best Ms. Liz on YouTube.” Amy pulled a green ink pen out of her shirt pocket and displayed it to you proudly.
“A shrink ray! I’m going to shrink you down to an inch tall, blow my smoke on you, and you’ll let people know what you think!”
“Oh, Amy,” you said, “people can’t shrink. Please tell me you didn’t pay-“
“Three thousand dollars. That’s all of the money I’ve made on patreon the last few months.”
“Well, this has been really cool,” you said. “But that parking lot ain’t gonna sweep itself.”
You turned to leave the office and as you did you felt a strange warm sensation hit you in the back. Suddenly it was dark, and you were naked, and under some kind of fabric.
“What the fuck just happened?” You asked yourself.