Aqua felt a noxious boredom take over her body as she stared at Kazuma, the most unfortunate teenager she had ever seen in her life. Her entire body language pointed towards only one emotion: utter disinterest.
"Hey, can you hurry up? Another NEET could die at any moment, you know."
She said it brazenly, clutching a bag of potatoes in one hand and some leftover salt in the other. Kazuma's only response was to focus on her with the disgust of someone that's contemplating a spider on the wall.
"Hey, do they give away the title of 'goddess' on cereal boxes?"
"The NEET one looks like it has that kind of fate. I can't believe just how many people like you I get on a daily basis. Is it that hard for you to choose? Are you one of those guys who has too many guilty pleasures to choose a main one?"
Kazuma inhaled and exhaled sharply, as if leaking a hurricane from his mouth.
"A magic-related skill would be nice, but I don't know which one to pick exactly," he said, in a display of unmatched self-control.
At that point, Aqua had to her mouth behind her potato chip bag.
"Oh? I think I have the perfect choice for you." With a dramatic gesture, Aqua rose from her chair and held out her arms. "Tell me, you degenerate NEET: would you want to be one of the wizards with the most potential in the world? Someone capable of splitting monsters in two with beams of light, charring demons with mere finger snaps, and teleporting wherever they want? Someone so beautiful that he accidentally captivates members of the opposite sex? Someone with a face that any girl would consider adorable? Because I know exactly how to do it."
Aqua finished her little monologue with a satisfaction that only increased as she saw Kazuma's eyes, lit up like headlights.
"Is that...possible? Can you give me an easy life, one where it's simple to make a living?"
"Of course. But before that, could you sign here, please?"
"Huh? What's this?" was all Kazuma could reply as he gazed at what Aqua had made appear seemingly out of nowhere: a simple piece of paper and a pen with ink on it.
"You see, my dear NEET, we gods are not as omnipotent as you mortals tend to believe. We need faith to exist and to be able to use our powers. If you sign this, you will commit yourself to pray to me at least once a day and to help my followers from time to time. In return, however, you will be able to communicate with me every time you pray. How about it, Kazuma, do you accept?"
The poor teenager felt a sweaty tremor spread throughout his body: he could almost feel his legs give out on him.
"Are you really going to give me a life like this?"
"I am a goddess. Despite what you may think, my job is still to guide people to save them from suffering, you know?"
Without even thinking about it, Kazuma signed in less than a second and hugged Aqua like she was the most beautiful thing in the world as she desperately tried her best not to laugh. Less than a minute later, the poor teenager had vanished from the scene, thus beginning the start of his doom.
"Ah, this is going to be good..."  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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