(Macro pokemon. Anatomical descriptions, scat, other dreadful thoughts)
A squall of frustrated squawks reverberates from the tunnel path to the west, courtesy of the Staravia you just narrowly avoided. You pant in and out as you come to terms with the fact that you came very close to being food... and that you made it out alive, and even found shelter from the world overhead.
But you shouldn't kid yourself.
You are in near pitch black darkness. If one follows the tried and true logic of vintage text adventure games, you're liable to getting eaten by a grue(or some similar subterranean threat) should you stay here. This tunnel wasn't simply spawned here by a game developer looking to give you a way out. It was dug by something, and that something is very likely a living creature that would either view you as a meal or a nuisance. You might want to make your way out of here sooner rather than later.
You weigh your options before heading northwards. It is the most direct path to the surface, and the presence of larger animals, which you presume to be herbivores, would give you some degree of shelter from the Staravia. Not wanting to waste any time, you stumble forward in the darkness. Although you have an idea as to the end-point of the path you're headed on, you cannot make heads or tails of the terrain around you. Roots , rocks, potholes, bumps in the path, slight turns, and sporadic hard, narrow objects you could swear are bones cause you to trip and stumble, to scrape your knees and arms, as you path your way through the darkness.
Eventually, though , you draw near enough to the light of day to be able to make out your surroundings. By this point the sounds of rumbling hoofbeats and sporadic neighs and snorts and hawwwws overhead make it clear that you're beneath farm Pokemon. You pause for a moment, wondering if going out through that opening is really a bright idea. What guarantee do you have that you won't get trampled underhoof -whether instinctively or unwittingly- the moment you emerge? The seemingly unending pageant of godlike giant animals overhead leaves you feeling vulnerable, weak, and perhaps even a little inadequate.
You turn back towards the darkness behind you. Did you hear something behind you? Under all of this noise, you couldn't possibly tell... but you grow suspicious. If you double back towards the depths of the tunnel, if you so much as remain down here, you might well allow yourself to be clawed apart and devoured by a pack of unseen Drilbur... or worse. You steel your resolve and step forward. You almost immediately let out a wimpy whimper as a Pokemon tramples directly overhead, replacing your hearing with a painful ringing noise. Crumbs of dirt break loose from overhead and sprinkle down over you. Realizing what might happen, you dash forward...and just in time! A neigh sounds out over the ringing as the dirt overhead caves in right behind, blocking your path back into the depths of the tunnel and very nearly burying you in the process. There's only one way to go now...
You wait for the ringing to subside before resuming your trek to the opening, stopping just short of it. You breathe in and out slowly. Do you really want to emerge from this hiding spot? Well...truthfully you have little choice on that matter. You'll need to emerge sooner or later. The only choice you have is when.
And as for when?
You decide to wait until the noises subside, until you only hear one set of hoofbeats remain, and then even those come to a halt. Taking this as an opportunity, you approach the opening, emerging but for a moment only to be shaken by another series of hoofbeats, these ones slow and gentle. You survey your surroundings immediately, and find that you appear to be in a patch of grass not too far from the farmhouse. More importantly, however, you see something far more relevant above and around you. The tan hooves , humble brown fur, and sizable girth of a Mudbray, who happens to be standing directly above you. Your heart skips a beat as you gawk in awe of and fear towards the giant equine Pokemon.
You briefly consider getting his attention... but that probably would not be a good idea. Instead you stand in its shadow, looking around to see if anyone else is nearby. Realizing you're practically alone with the massive Mudbray, you simply wait beneath it for the time being, assuming you're safer under the cover of this creature than away from it.
The Mudbray interrupts your weight by stomping forward one more time, then bringing his hindpaws over towards the tunnel opening. With an unthinking kick he smashes at the molehill opening, causing it to cave-in. It remains a mound of downy soil, but one that is shorter and lacks an opening for you to take shelter in. Finding the soft soil to be fascinating, the Mudbray pounds at it once more, a THUD resonating outward, followed by another, as he nearly flattens the mound. Satisfied, he steps forward, moving right past you before coming to a halt again.
Looking up, you find that you are no longer underneath the Mudbray. You are behind him. As you look up, you see the back of is impressively large girth, his sack in particularly quite prominently hanging down. He might not be an evolved pokemon yet, but he's packing more manhood than your body height, easily. Probably twice as much, actually. More notable than that is his enormous plump donkey hole. The Mudbray's short, humble tail stands in stark contrast to the vulgar yet very slightly alluring sight overhead. You cannot avert your gaze.
You do not avert your gaze even as that pucker swells to reveal a huge, moist boulder of sorts contained within. Realizing what's about to happen, you begin to back away, only for an unwitting stomp from the Mudbray to knock you off of your feet. That same stomp dislodges the turd from his bottom and sends it crashing down, landing directly on your feet with a painful smack. You let out a scream more of pain than disgust the turdlet smashes down. You struggle to crawl back, but find that your feet are completely bound by the ball of shit. You reach forward to try to free your feet, but find yourself reeling back and wretching. Gah. The scent is nauseating beyond belief. It smells of a mix of yard waste, herbs you would never eat, and toxin. It's almost bad enough to make you faint!
Before you can reach for it again, you look up to see another one tumbling out. You groan and reach to try to free your legs, but quickly pull back when you realize the second turd has entered into a freefall and is about to hit your head. You manage to pull your head back just in time to avoid getting completely buried in it. Instead, the next bit of mess lands partly on the first before the rest of it collapses down onto your chest. The scent is unchanged.. only now, it is constantly point-blank with your nose. With your arms held over your chest at the time of impact, you find that it is rather hard to move them, too.
The Mudbray steps forward and snorts before letting loose a few more. Instead of directly hitting you, they simply pile up in your general periphery, for the most part. Some of them do manage to splat around your sides, though. The Mudbray kicks some dirt over you before stomping forward and rounding the corner of the barn
Now that the immediate risk is away, it's time to free yourself. You attempt to move your legs, only to find that they are still stuck beneath the shit. You attempt to lift your upper body, only to find that it is stuck as well. With your arms stuck as well, and with the remaining bits of feces caking beneath you and holding you in place, it will be hard to free yourself.
It then dawns on you that you actually lack the means to free yourself, even if you can breathe. You find yourself lying down beneath a pair of turds that are about 1.5 times the size of your body in total...and you simply cannot break free from under them. No matter how hard you squirm or struggle, no matter what approach you take, it is simply too much for you. And it doesn't seem like that will change any time soon.
Indeed, this is correct. What follow is a long decline. The turds soon harden around you, and any attempt you could make to move is now decisively quashed. You are petrified up to your neck in the Mudbray's droppings. To an outside observer you would almost look like a camper happily resting in a sleeping bag. And so it is that you rest here for as long as it will take for someone to find you. Your calls for help go unheard, and soon begin to fade as you scream yourself hoarse. Not that they were ever loud enough to be heard in the first place.
After a day, a Stoutland notices you. It briefly investigates you before deciding that eating another Pokemon's turd is worth it, and so it walks off . In fact, no predator seems willing to devour you. You begin to wonder if you will die not of predation or suffocation... but of thirst.
However, mother nature provides. The third day of your day in the shitty sleeping bag, a light drizzle affords you a chance to drink rainwater. Nevermind the fact much of it is likely tainted by the filth clinging to your body. The storm also softens the turds to the point where you could possibly try to break free. Unfortunately, by this point you are too weak, too malnourished, too delirious to move. When the rain ends, the soggy shit hardens. It is packed more tightly around you, to the point that you practically look like a piece of shit with a barbie doll's head attached.
The sporadic rainfall proves sufficient to sustain your thirst, but mother nature is far stingier when it comes to food. Actually, you get no food at all. You lie there petrified in shit for a full month before dying of starvation.
YOU DIED
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