"Of course I gots chow, Slaw Boy. Do ya think I roam all over the world without eatin'? You think I am Billy Appleseed, eatin' apples and singin' 'God Bless America' all day, while Babe, my Big Blue Ox, digs up potatoes for me to eat? If you think all that, kid, then you is a little touched in the head."
"No, Mister B,I don't think nothing like that. I'm just hungry, that's all."
"Okay, kid. Sorry. I gets a little excitable sometimes. It's that mountain blood. Now let's eat, shall we?"
"We shall, but where's the food?"
"Patience, little clodhopper. Everthing will be revealed."
"Well then, reveal it, goldang it! I told you I was hungry. Do you wants me to bite your finger off?"
"You is indeed mighty hungry, Slaw Boy. I reckon I better rustle up some grub real fast for ya. Here... Try this."
"What the hail is that!?"
"It's a grub."
"I ain't eaten no earthworm."
"It ain't no earthworm. That there is the larva of a beetle. Go on. You can eat it. I already ate."
"I ain't eatin' bugs, Barnacle Man! Are you crazy?"
Suddenly the Barnacle Man reaches out with his left hand and grabs the neck of your shirt. In Barnacle Man's right hand is the shining blade of a very long knife. His eyes gleam. His face is inches from yours. He whispers slowly, "Don't you ever call me that again, Slaw Boy."
You gulp and manage to squeeze out, "N-No sir, I won't..."
Tension hangs heavy in the air as Barnacle Man tries to milk every last drop of drama from the scene. Will he stick that long shiny knife into your belly or not? At the present moment, you just don't know. Fear grips your heart and squeezes at your insides. You hope fear doesn't squeeze your bladder too hard.
You look into Barnacle Man's blazing eyes. You were so wrong about that "only eccentric" thing. This guy is a full-blown raving lunatic. You feel the cold fingers of fear make contact with your bladder.
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