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Given: Nov 6, 2011 at 4:06pm
Length: 355 Characters |
355 w/o WritingML
I like the poem. But think you might work on the title. You've got "breath" and "breathes", "breathing". Is the first thing reader sees. Sort of a turn off for me.
I want something "prettier", you know what I mean? "I bathe in the breathes" sounds awkward to me. But remember, I am only one opinion and yours is the most important of all. Jackie
You responded to this review 11/06/2011 @ 4:38pm EST
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