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Review #3825583
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Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: | (3.5)
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Hi violetwinged -

As a newer member of this site, I wanted to take a moment to welcome you to Writing.Com. Today is actually my 10th anniversary of being a member here, and I'm celebrating by hosting "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" Open in new Window. and giving away several prizes throughout the day. I've selected you as a recipient of one of 10 reviews I'm handing out today, which also comes with 10,000 Gift Points for you to spend as you please. *Smile*

I'm enclosing the following review for your consideration, but please keep in mind that these comments are my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of them as you see fit.


WHAT WORKED

*Bullet* You did a great job with the imagery in this poem. Violet the angel with violet wings was a vivid character and clearly defined by her actions throughout the poem. It was well structured, engaging, and entertaining. Nicely done! *Bigsmile*


WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

*Bullet* The first, third, and fifth stanzas ended with a line that was particularly long and felt a little uneven when compared to the other lines of the stanza. If the last lines were a bit closer to the other three in terms of the number of syllables, I think it would flow a little better.

*Bullet* TYPO: In the second to last line of the poem, it should be "definitely" rather than "definately."


OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I enjoyed this vivid imagery and creativity that went into this poem. Structurally it could use a little work to make it flow a little better... but conceptually, I think you did a great job with it. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material, and again, welcome to Writing.Com! If you'd like to introduce yourself over at "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" Open in new Window., please feel free to click on the link or the image at the bottom of this review and stop by to say hello! *Bigsmile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


SoCalScribe

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" Open in new Window.
"The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
"Blogocentric Formulations" Open in new Window.

Logo for SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala activity.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 9:27pm EST
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