Hello ~Lifelessons~ ,

This is a wonderful short suspense story. I can see where it will improve in intensity once the word count restriction is no longer a factor.

What I liked the most: When Allison found herself where she least expected.

She'd followed all the rules except one very important one and that was having at least one outside confidant. What a helpless panic she felt.

You did very well with the dialogue. I had no trouble knowing who was speaking.

Another thing I liked: Travis--oh what you can do with this character someday--maybe when Mother is out of the picture for good.

What I least liked you have detailed in your mail box. I do hope everything said helps you polish this story to a glaring shine.

I had fun today and I know you will have fun once the magic is finished.



I'm the writer I am today, only because of all the help I've received from other writers yesterday.