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 Review #4034195 |
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| (3.0)| Welcome to WDC thinkingreed! I like your evocative handle. I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!   I see you have written a haiku! I have been learning this ancient form as well and enjoy reading what others are doing with it. I used to think it was quite simple but found it is rather complex in it traditional form and find it challenging to get right. LOL  I see the image your create quite clearly and the last line was quite evocative and got me pondering on how you fly in autumn. Perhaps you are leaving on a plane to go back someplace.--like school. Or perhaps a flight of the imagination. Good haiku do evoke differing perspectives.  The format does not follow the exact traditional form of 5-7-5 in syllables so I assume it is a modern example. It has a nature theme and a seasonal word as befits the form.  The addition of you as a presence in the second line feels more l like a senryu as haiku concern nature observed in a moment of time.The first two lines do speak of a present moment but the third line seems to be future time.{I could be wrong) Haiku captures only one moment observation. I wonder about a description of garden in second line--just taking you out as if you are watching. It would add more vivid picture in our mind. Also, you can drop the capital letters and punctuation here so the picture can hang in sapce and let readers enter the space with their own ponderings.   You have the underlying idea and essence of the form and have engaged me in the possibilities of your vision! Super! A little tweaking will improve the haiku form fro even greater impact. Thanks for creating this. Keep haikuing! If you are interested in japanese forms : You might like : "Haiku Hunt Contest" when it reopens, or "Haiku and Senryu: A Contest and More...." ! Have fun and write on!Light on the path as you write on! eyestar Have fun with WDC Party!! "WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" ** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/03/2014 @ 1:46am EDT