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 Review #4279043 |
| DEC 1, 2016 Hello, Papa Doc papadoc1 My goodness, DEC already? Time to close and reward short story submissions @ "Invalid Item"  From SHUTTER MILK we find two brothers, Mikey and Lucas working on their family's farm. From the start (in sum) seems like things go astray in repeated dangerous ways as ... "Lucas had tried to tell his father how things went down with his brother (Mikey) at least a dozen times - " Here with the use of the dash, Papa Doc, suggest the use of both dash, (:) and (;} to make the series of tenses -- often rendered in a baiting fashion for reader & story legibility. This is a very good story and quite an original cast of sequence, which with the happenstance, throughout seem well researched. Making one wonder RE: ballistics and overhead wires, which we as a population of the uninformed take for granted. After Mikey's head injuries comes the bank robbery --- "The blast ripped through the backpack the thief had shouldered - with shell fragments entering into his viscera ... his spleen, his lower bowel, his gonads and lastly, through the inferior vena cava, that huge conduit of blood on its way back up to the heart/lungs for a fresh recharge of oxygen." Good lord, now, that paragraph took some planning, I'll tell you straight in this review. After Ma Stryker enters hospital due a "nervous breakdown" Mr. Mikey Jr rests beside a window == The farm under surveillance from a bevy of "reporters" of course. Then ..." ...ignition of the fuel tanks finished the job in a finale of immolation" Ahah! Up in smoke go the news vans. Hints of "telekinesis" from the debilitated Mikey. Along with "electronics-strewn" details, truly making Miss TEFF wonder. Correction -- Use two officers instead of to  plurals -- e.g. each van's rear door.My, oh my -- what a traditional length short story which stands the test of memorable. Bravo! Rev sent Cordially, from TEFF April Sunday   "Invalid Item"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 12/01/2016 @ 7:09pm EST