Trees Scream [E] An old growth forest is attacked. |
Hi Kaya My name is Ken and I'm pleased to read and comment on your work "Trees Scream" on behalf of "Earth Day Challengers" . First Impression/Thoughts: An up close and personal look at deforestation. Forests cover 31% of the land area on our planet. They produce vital oxygen and provide homes for people and wildlife. Some 46-58 thousand square miles of forest are lost each year—equivalent to 48 football fields every minute. Creativity/Impact: I think you used this poem to create an insightful commentary on our world. Deforestation comes in many forms, including fires, clear-cutting for agriculture, ranching and development, unsustainable logging for timber, and degradation due to climate change. Message/Theme: Uhhh, Earth Day? You've captured the terrible loss our planet is suffering. Forests play a critical role in mitigating climate change because they act as a carbon sink—soaking up carbon dioxide that would otherwise be free in the atmosphere and contribute to ongoing changes in climate patterns. Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet. Title: I think your title is sure to catch the attention of readers. The "teaser" line (or description ) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Again, very informative. Grammar/Wording: Very well chosen words bring us into the moment ... from the peaceful growth of the forest to the invasion and death of our woodlands. Form/Flow: ou wrote this in Quatrains using an abcb rhyme. Read aloud, this flowed very well. Overall Rating/Final Thoughts: An enjoyable if frightening read even if the subject was the destruction of our forests and what we're doing to the world. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more. Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2017, Ken
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