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 Review #4319789 |
| (4.0)   Happy Earth Day wolfbane!   Wow! This is a soft magical expression and I was drawn to the title Wisp, which fits the theme. The poem specifically uses this floating seed in an expereincial way. The picture you paint is so despcriptive and you drew me into the moment. The structure is a free style with a consistene rhyme scheme that added to the flow. The atmosphere is soft and whishful as you act with the wisp and then jump to the future to see the wish fulfilled. The rhyme with "whispered" is an off rhyme and yet the thought is so relevant. You could do the line with italics instead of brackets to show you are thinking within the narration.The punctuation was purposeful in the read. I don' think you need the word "softly" as we know "whispering" is soft, so it may be redundant. It tightend up the flow to leave it out as well.  I like the unrhymed last line as the summation shares a philosophical result of the experience--apart from the action in the lines before.  I was touched by this moment of receiving nature's gift. Thank you for sharing your vision. I often dwell in nature and find myself and wisdom.  Light on the path as you write on! eyestar   "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/27/2017 @ 10:26am EDT