Greetings from the White Walkers and the "Game of Thrones" ! I'm Tam, and I'm here to provide you some feedback.


First Impressions

What a cute little story. This little puppy was born in someone's house, grows up with kind owners, and is finally - still as a puppy - offered to some other people (I assume family just by the way this story is put together, and that they're offering the kid first pick). He doesn't want to go, but he doesn't have a choice. But it might not be so bad after all, since he has his own house and a boy to play with.


Best Elements

The transition from being a puppy among his brothers and sisters, to becoming this boy's dog. The emotion of said puppy is pretty easy to relate to, and is written with real puppy behaviour in mind. It's well done in that respect, and I couldn't find fault with that much.


Suggestions

This piece is mostly just fine, however there was one little thing that gave me pause when I read it.

The small puppy was placed in a big yard, in one corner he saw a little house, it must be for him.

This sentence organization is just... not great. I really advise changing this sentence so it doesn't look so 'slammed together'. It interrupted my flow of reading.


Overall

Adorable little story, and easy to read. For the most part, even for its shortness, I didn't feel dissatisfied with it. I'd really only suggest cleaning up that one sentence, if you can.


Keep writing!

~Tam

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


This review is in affiliation with "The Witch's House" . If you like this review, consider stopping by "Game of Thrones"  and cheering for my team. Or you can stop by my portfolio. Visitors are always welcome.