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 Review #4350799 |
| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Creeper Of The Realm  OVERALL IMPRESSION - You used the prompt well right at the beginning as the boys shoved Lous through the basement window of the haunted house. WHAT I LIKED BEST - I was glad that nothing happened to Louis and that his friend finally went back to make sure Louis was all right. PLOT~ A group of boys go to a haunted house and shove Louis through the window first. Hearing the sounds and Louis scream, the rest of the boys run away leaving him behind in the basement of the house. The next morning one of the boys feels bad and tries to get the others to go with him back to the scene and find Louis. The other boys refuse to go back. He grabs his dog Toby and starts to head back, but thinks maybe he should stop by Louis' house to double check that possibly he made it home all right. CHARACTERS and Description~ Grabbing his dog Toby to go back and check on his friend was a good idea. Louis being safe with a new pet pulled this story altogether. DIALOG~ The interactions between the boys played well and helped to make their young age stand out. Even their fear when they refused to go back was easy to read by what they were saying and their reactions to even the thought of going back to the haunted house. TECHNICAL~ I found a whole bunch of cages in the basement full neat animals. One of which was a live Billings named John. He lives there, so it's never has been haunted like everybody thought.” -- there a few places in these last sentences that need an edit for clarity.   
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You responded to this review 08/12/2017 @ 3:00pm EDT