Hi Puhlasaurus, I am reviewing your story "Cum on, Mrs. Rettig! " on the behalf of Game of Thrones here on WDC.

♥ This short dark taboo erotica story is about a biology teacher Mrs. Return and her student. This short contains taboo themes such as: Rape minor, teacher/student, and abuse. This short should come with a warning before reading, because the issues contained within are sensitive in nature.

♥ Things I noticed/specific suggestions: Your short story would read better if it was broken into sections or rather paragraphs. For example:

I walked into my tenth period class, biology. My teacher, Mrs. Rettig, is a bit shorter than me and has a very slim figure. She isn't very busty on her chest or rear end but her crazy and kind personality makes her very attractive. She is married and has children and she is usually a hated teacher in the school due to her pretty strict homework rules. I was walking over to turn in my homework from the previous night and the late bell rang as I was walking. I didn't think anything of it so I turned in my homework and walked back to my seat. Mrs. Rettig took all the papers from the turn in tray and we sat down and started grading them. We were having a work day so it was quiet in the classroom for the most part. The bell rang and it was time for us to go home. I stood up and started walking away when I heard Mrs. Rettig call my name and I walked over to her.
“You were late on turning your homework in again, this is your third time this week. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to lower your grade to an F.”
I looked at her with absolute confusion, “I turned it in before the bell rang though, this doesn't make any sense."


I think it would read better like: I walked into my 10th period class, biology. My teacher Mrs. Retired is a bit shorter than me and has a very slim figure. She isn't very busy, her chest or rear, but her crazy and kind personality makes her very attractive. She is married and has children. She is usually a hated teacher in school due to her pretty strict homework rules.

I was walking over to turn in my homework from the previous night and the late bell rings. I didn't think anything of it so I turned in my homework, and walked back to my seat. Mrs. Rettig takes all of the papers from the homework tray and starts to grade them as we sit down. We were having a workday so it was quiet in the classroom for the most part.

The bell rings and it is time for us to go home. I stand and begin to walk away when I hear Mrs. Rettig call my name. I walk over to her and she says, "You were late with turning in your homework once again, this is your third time this week. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to lower your grade to an F." I looked at her with absolute confusion, "I turned it in before the bell rang though, this doesn't make any sense."

♥ Spelling/Grammar: As you stated this is a work in progress so I won't "grade" you too harshly in regard to your common grammar or spelling errors. I think you should do another read through.


This review was given freely in thanks for a writing that was written freely

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