Hi Edwin Lehrter ! Welcome to WDC! The Random Review button brought me to your poem, and I'm very happy to review it for you!

I absolutely love you alliteration and voice in this poem! Here are some of my favorite lines: "sticky-sweet, sweaty, standstill," "The wind in the walnuts is breathing in my lungs / The birdsong in strange, sweet, and intimate tongues," and "To sink roots in good ground / To grow and be still." You have a way with words. I like the repetition in the heart of the poem as well Good work!

There are only a couple small and very minor edits I would recommend. You are missing a space in two lines below:

In the bright, heady, gloom(here)of the nearest and dearest

The birdsong in strange, sweet,(here)and intimate tongues

The other edits I would recommend is to add a couple extra genres to your poem. This helps other writers find your piece to review when they search the site for specific genres. Some I think might fit with your poem are: Biographical, Experience, or Personal.

Thank you for sharing your writing and welcome to WDC! Let me know if you have questions about the site!

Take care,
Emily

You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore

Upgraded Membership required to use macros.Create custom macros to insert text in this editor. [Beta] X   GIPHY Search   Send a reply... Include Gift Points