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Review #4447133
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Suffering  Open in new Window.
Review by ruwth Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

May God bless both of us as we grow as writers together!


I am reviewing this entry as a judge for:

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The Christian Writing Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Featured in Schnujo's CONTEST CHALLENGE for June 2021!


"The Christian Writing ContestOpen in new Window. is a non-fiction writing contest.

Entries will be judged on:

*Checkg* Following the prompt.
*Checkb* Connecting with the reader.
*Checkv* Literary quality.



WdC 18th Birthday Prompt:

Write about any Chapter 18 or Verse 18 from the Bible!


The Contest Entries for this PROMPT include:



Now let's talk about your entry:

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by A Guest Visitor


Romans 8:18 is a great verse to write about for this prompt. It is a great verse to write about anytime! "Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

I think it would have been good to include the words of the verse somewhere for folks to see. The Brief Description might be a good place to put them. I just checked. The words I have in quotes above contains exactly 90 Characters so you could use them as the Brief Description if you wanted to do so. It would not be the entire verse and there would not be room for the chapter and verse reference BUT the words themselves might draw a perspective reader faster than your current Brief Description: "A story based on Romans 8:18"

Your item does read like a story. I liked the tone. I found myself seeing your item as a good way to share this concept with a Sunday School class for kids. Is that the audience you envisioned reading your words? I would be glad to read this to my younger grandchildren.

You have let us know where Paul was when he wrote about "present sufferings" and where he is now: with God in all His Glory. Paul's sufferings were worse than a lot of us are going to endure but he realized whatever he was going through was worth it.

I like your reminder to us at the end of your item—encouraging us to remember the glory that lies ahead! As we do, we can walk in the peace that passes understanding.

I recently modified my signature at the bottom of a book entry to say:

~ In spite of the evil that exists in this world, ~
~ I still believe: JESUS is LORD! ~


That pretty much sums it up, eh?

So, did you follow the prompt? Yes!

Did you connect with your reader? Yes!

How about literary quality? There is room for improvement from this aspect. You can both add to what you have written and take away some things as well to refine this piece and make it better. You could share a bit more about when and how Saul was blinded—and healed. You could cut out where you use the words "formally Saul" simply by telling the story of Saul's sight being miraculously restored and his name being changed to Paul after that.

I hope you will take the time to polish this story up. If you do, let me know and I will gladly review it again! As it is, it is an enjoyable read and sends a good message to your readers. I think you picked a great verse to write about!





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