Hi Sharmelle'sThankfulExpressions ! Wow - your first account anniversary is coming up! Congratulations!

Thanks for sharing this sweet poem about your daughter's birthday. It sounds from your poem that you and her do not get to see each other very often, which I know can be hard. I moved away from my family when I was 18, and have only seen them once or twice a year since then. It does make those times we are together that much more special though. I hope your daughter enjoyed the celebration you put on for her and the card you made - I'm sure it was lovely! And based on the date of this poem, it looks like your daughter's 23rd birthday is upcoming this year. Congrats to her!

I did find this poem to contain quite a few repetitive phrases and words such as special, day, graphic, card, celebration, and again. Often, repetition is quite effective in poetry to help convey a message, but sometimes, it is better to think of another word or phrase so the repetition doesn't get in the way of the reader's comprehension of the piece. I would also encourage you to take a look at your line syllable count and meter. I am quite poor at this myself (hence the tendency to stick to free verse), but some lines for me felt awkward to read.

My favorite two lines are the final two Beautiful and loving message. Thank you for sharing! Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 04/03/2019 @ 11:04pm EDT

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