Very interesting way that this character gets over writer's block. Definitely some nice surprising elements in this short read. I do not know if you had a set word count you were wanting to keep with this piece but it did feel a bit rushed so if you are interested in expanding this piece into something longer, it seems like it would be very possible to do. Otherwise, below are some suggestions that you can take from what you want. Hope it is helpful.

>>Showing vs. telling
I am a huge fan of showing vs. telling as it allows the reader to really delve deep into the story and be more involved in the story vs. being told the story. In this piece, I definitely felt like I was being told the story and kept at arms length from the protagonist. Even the end explanation of why he does what he does seemed more of a rushed explanation without depth. Here are some examples of what I mean:

Original: "I sat with my elbows on my desk, hands on my head, and fingers entangled in my tousled hair. In front of me was a laptop showing a blank page. Life was hard for a writer."

Example: "I stared down at the faux wood grain on my Ikea desk wishing ideas would form into coherent words right before my eyes. If only it could be that easy. My tousled hair now becoming entwined around my fingers from overly massaging my head trying to work loose what brain matter necessary to string two words together - let alone a complete plot. I was bathed in the glow from my laptop screen like an omnipresent orb that was eternally waiting for that sweet nectar of life - a story."

*Note: While this example might not be a perfect fit for your story I hope this does provide a good example of allowing the reader to get more into the head of the protagonist without being told everything. Of course there is a balancing act of show vs. tell that must happen to make for a comprehensive and engaging story and this is just one example.


>>Ending Well
As I mentioned earlier, the end does seem a bit rushed and also overly explained if that makes any sense. Basically, it does not feel complete. As the reader, we have a protagonist who seems quite interesting but one that we don't really get to know in the course of the story. Then the last three paragraphs are the protagonist trying to explain why he does what he does. My suggestion here would be to summarize the reasoning better and then bring it back to him writing. Otherwise the reader is left with kind of an empty feeling at the end without a final conclusion. And you could also ask yourself, did this story convey what you wanted it to? What was your goal and was it achieved? Might seem like a strange question for a piece of fiction but every story ideally conveys something to it's reader.

Original: "Needless to say, the last words weren't always this interesting. Most of the time, they were just simple domestic words. A departing wish or a last regret. But for whatever reason, even these ignited a spark of creativity within me. The final words were like a seed, and a story could grow from even the smallest one into a towering tree blooming with life. Life from death. Ironic, but it seemed appropriate to me, somehow. Like it was meant to be, and by creating these fantastic backstories for the words I heard, I was doing the right thing, giving a new life to the poor souls that uttered them.

I prefer to actually be with the people when they say their last words, instead of just having them sent to me. Morbid or sad it may seem, but necessary. It wasn't really the words themselves that gave me inspiration, but the way I find them. The face of the lady when she died, the tone her voice carried, and so forth. All of this left a heavy impression, and this is what gives me the urge to write. To give meaning where there was none. To bring to life, exaggerate, and amplify. My thoughts flowed even faster than the words spreading across the screen, line after line. The beauty that could be contained on a page!"

Example: "Watch the clouds, watch the clouds... these words marinated in my mind as I returned to my virtuous Ikea desk and that glowing laptop screen. My fingers fluttered lightly on the keys as I brought life to these final words of a dying woman. What kind of life had she lived? Why had she chosen those words for her only daughter? All questions I would never know the real answer to but it was these questions that brought me to the edge of my seat in a frenzy as the words spilled onto the screen. That monumental moment of being part of someone's final moment when their years of wisdom collide into those final words - no matter what they might be - was unlike any other writer's block cure I could conjure up. My ability to bring life to dying words is exactly what I do and my next bestselling novel will be in memory of the dying woman in Room 9."

*Note: Again, just an example that allows the character to own his actions instead of end apologizing for them or making up reasons for them. Let your character become who they may be and ideally your readers will like them, even with their quirks. :)


Hope this does help! And again, if you were needing to keep this story at a set word count I apologize as all of my examples generally mean more words and not less. Take from this review what you will. :) Cheers and happy writing!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .