Hi Casey Nash !

I found your poem on the Read a Newbie page and I'm happy to send you a review today.

INITIAL REACTION:

I loved this! I've always wondered myself why the light was good and the dark is bad. I'm a natural night owl, love the nighttime way more than the day, and I sleep better when the sun is out than when it's dark! I love how the beauty of the dark is represented here.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION:

The meter is not consistent, but it's not in a jarring way. It's actually slightly off so as not to sound sing-songish, which I think works in its favor here. It might sound too nursery rhyme if the meter were perfect.

FAVORITE LINES:

"It tried and cried and died."
YES! Love the internal rhymes but also the meaning!

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

First of all, I appreciated the visual aesthetics of the centered alignment, and the double spacing. I wear glasses so it was super easy on my eyes to read your piece. I love the usage of punctuation here. Many people still don't use it, considering it too modern and staying true to the old ways, and I was one of those people for the longest time until I decided to experiment with it just to see how it felt, and I haven't gone back. Punctuation just adds more meaning, I believe. I love the personification of the shadow, how it became a character, and I adore story poems. I just can't say enough great things about this! You're a skilled writer and your diction was excellent here. I can't wait to read more of your poetry! If you have any specific items you'd like reviewed, feel free to email them to me. Glad you're here on writing.com!

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing!