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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4544363
Review #4544363
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Rated: GC | N/A (Review only item.)
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Introductions~
*NoteP*          Cadie here reviewing for Building Emotion Lesson 1. I do apologize for not reviewing this piece sooner, I thought I had already completed this.

Personal Impressions~
*NoteP*          You got a good beginning. You showed what the Elize was feeling but not what Mac was feeling. I get the impression that he likes her but their relationship is based on two strangers meeting in a bowling alley. What's the story of her bowling, why does she do it? Why does Mac approach her? She doesn't seem leary of a strange man watching her, more like love at first sight.
I look forward to reading what else you've got in store for these two. I didn't see any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes.

Thank you for sharing, Keep writing./b}



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