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Review #4556596
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Review by sherry6 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: | (3.0)
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This story is almost like a little twist on the "Little Red Riding Hood" fable. There are several errors that could help the story read a bit better.
apon-upon
acertain-a certain
village-village,
together-together.
tamed firewood-? gathered firewood (maybe)
climbup-climb up
thecondition-the condition
throughbto-? to
hyna-hyena

Many times I see that you have merged some words or forgotten spaces in between, as well as leaving two spaces after a period to start a new sentence. Also, anytime you feel the need to take a breath in a sentence, is where you can use a comma. These are small fixes that will help the reader read through it faster. All in all, I really love the story and hope you continue it. I am interested on hearing how it all ends up!
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/30/2020 @ 2:09pm EDT
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