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 Review #4647931 |
  |  | Even Prompter  [E] Book of poems written for the second and third years of the Promptly Poetry Challenge.  |
| (4.5)  Greetings Beholden. I am happy to celebrate You with a review on behalf of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]" In affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" It was great to see your contest item on the list of choices!  Personal Impression The title with its evocative image lured me in and then I loved the idea of grandpa's desk. I love old wooden antique things!  The word "arabesque" is a wonderful old word too that is unique and appealed to me. I enjoyed following the directions only to find the note.. a tricky twist and reminds me of the line about going back to where you began. Perfect and gave me a giggle. Tone and Mood The speaker is giving instructions with an invitational vibe that makes you want to do what he says. There is an air of mystery and magic. Having to say a special word is like a spell!  Rhyme, Form and FlowIt was a delight to read your poem aloud with its engaging theme and steady flow and rhyme scheme. The rhythm was not regular but it did not detract from the flow and enjoyment of the read. Your use of assonance and consonance was very effective in creating a pleasing sound scape that assisted the flow. I enjoyed the vivid descriptions in each verse as you guide us through the discovery. I Liked the line about "folding" and the alliterative line about the lever.  Verbs like "lurks", "mutter" and "unwind" are active and give an active feel to the poem. The present tense keeps me immediately involved. The use of the french sounding words also give a flavour of time and place or background I thought. Grammar and PunctuationI was not distracted by any glitches so yay! I did wonder about a few places of punctuation, which can be a choice, I know. I wondered if some periods in place of some semi colons, which you use a lot. Could be a style. I am not a pro here. eg. A period after "seek" and 'espadrille" would give power to it and the next lines.  I do see though that the pattern in each verse regarding punctuation is consistent.  I wanted to read an "a" before "nervous streak".   Emotional ImpactOh I was right into the mystery and felt a connection with the speaker and imagined the history of the desk and what the mystery box could hold. It was a good ploy to leave revelation to the end. And what a twist, a bit disappointing yet I felt there was a joke as if someone in the family is a jokester. Maybe it fit with grandpa's sense of humour. It made me laugh and yet imagined the finder being let down.  Wonderful! I had fun entering your vision with its precise directives to solve the box mystery. I liked imagining what the box looked like and how big it was and waiting to see what was in it. The poem rocks! Thanks for sharing your entertaining craft.Write on! eyestar
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You responded to this review 02/17/2022 @ 12:19pm EST