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 Review #4648085 |
  |  | Poetically Prompted  [E] Fifth go around on Promptly Poetry Challenge  |
| (4.5)  Greetings Sox. I am happy to celebrate You with a review on behalf of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]" .  Wow! Your idea of the Box hiding negative feelings is so original and unexpected! The metaphor is brilliant! I enjoyed reading it aloud even though it has a sad vibe. Yet we all have those feelings to deal with. The notion of "undertow" is a vivid image that fits the content too.   The style of the poem is interesting and effective with its repeating line emphasizing the hurts going in the box. Cool! It was pleasant to read aloud with its wonderful rhyme and soundscape. Good for you to get all the lines to rhyme with the same sound. The use of some instances of repeated sounds assisted the flow as well. I think it can be a challenge and appreciate the time it took. The structure is presented in a coherent way. I did not notice a specific rhythm count though your repeated line was consistent. There were a few longer lines and yet it worked to portray the content vividly and did not detract from the read and the feeling. I like how the poet includes us in the second line with the idea that "we" all know these hurts. It brought me into your vision. I would keep it consistent by changing "you" to "we" as well.  I felt sad at the end with the tears unshed.  Thanks for sharing this evocative expression on a theme that is relevant as it describes feelings and how we tend to hide our truths.Keep on writing as your heart leads! eyestar In affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 02/18/2022 @ 7:09pm EST