I found this an interesting slice of life. You have been able to contrive a beginning, a middle, and an ending. I only found a couple of places for changes. The characters are believable. There are different ideas in the world of writing on dashes, versus commas. Although I tend to go with the commas, I didn’t change or mark your choices. If you are planning on publishing this piece anywhere but here, I would check on how the publishing site views the different ways.
***A middle-aged fellow enters the double doors, dressed in torn pants and a more than loose-fitting tee-shirt. His cane the only thing between him and the floor, he inches along- ever so slowly. First (comma)his right foot slides forward.
***“I was an office manager at Albina Fuel Company before “retiring.” (single quotes around the word retiring and then a double quote to close the sentence out)


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .