Notes: I’m not understanding your reference to T.S. Eliot, but it is not a huge point. I enjoyed the story a lot. Over the years when people have added life to a story that is just words on a page, I have found enjoyment. In the short piece, you have done very well painting a picture of what it must have been like to make the trip. I have included a line-by-line review below.

Red - needed changes
Blue - possible changes and comments.
***Hard enough it was, in winter, that journey in the limitless wastes, and we were old even then, all three of us, settled already in the assumption that our travelling (in the US there is only one -l) days were over. The call, when it came, so urgent and marked in the heavens, was answered with hope suddenly burning in our hearts, (no comma) and bolstered with an agreement between us, so we departed, stiffened joints and watery eyes notwithstanding, out into the cold and bitter sands of the desert.
***And always, at night, the star in the sky, (no comma) set like a diamond in a sable hide cloak. When we spoke, it was only to share our latest thoughts on the course we were following. Doubts there were but our consensus was that we must continue, (no comma) if only to find that we were fools at the last.
***There was nowhere for us to stay, the place being filled with those who come came to make themselves known in the census, and we resigned ourselves to spending the night out in the desert again. …
***And so we came at last to the promised new king. In that humble shack, among the animals penned for the night, he lay in a straw manger, a newborn child attended only by his mother and father. (According to the story wouldn’t there have been shepherds there also?) We knew him instantly, although I do not understand how. …
***The next day we left before the sunrise, having achieved all we intended. We carried with us a memory that would remain with us until death. And, perhaps, beyond.

FORUM

Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland]  (E) Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple.. #2267246 by In the manGer(vic), He sleeps