Hello bobturn

Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie contest in March. I appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt. This review is connected to the contest as the judge and a general reader.


First Impression: Well, this is very different than what one would expect and yet has a spark of the typical at the same time. It's a sort of end of the world, chaos drama story with a little twist that brings the description below the title more to life.


Prompt: The prompt this round was that of envy. It's something people use at times but also can be a little almost too expected in the approach. In some ways, the use of the prompt has that little bit of something one might expect in a story though probably not one for an erotica contest. The envy of survival and what the other character has or the situation works in regards to the prompt. It's a little bit "told" instead of shown since each time it's just said that the character envied for one reason or the other. But that's okay.


Characters/Story: The character and story have potential and need a little more than a flash fiction story to really bring it to life for the reader. This is a good starting point. Sort of like a test run to see how the characters and subject work together. Now there just needs to be a little more since the contest is over and there isn't a word count requirement you could do more details. The start could use some fleshing out as it was hard to follow so I read it a couple times in the start to figure out what was going on with the situation. Different sections of the story would benefit from further development to make the story stronger for the reader and to get the romance between the two women come out even more.


Other Notes: Other than development I don't have any other comments to add for the time being. I really appreciated the entry and hope it was fun to write for the contest even with only one entry per prompt during the month.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie. Keep writing!




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .