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 Review #4734915 |
| Hi staiNed. I'm reviewing Pet Prompt for I Write 2024. Blurb: I'm not very experienced with poetry, so please accept my honest feedback and comments based on my perceptions of what you've written. If anything I mention here is off the mark or doesn't work for you, please kindly disregard.  The Poem's Title: I'm surprised--shocked, even--that you named this poem "Pet Prompt." I honestly can't think of a good reason to name a poem for its prompt if you're making a serious attempt to write a poem. I don't mean to come off sounding so negative, but the title, the first thing the reader sees, should tell them something of what they're about to read. It should inspire them, or excite them. Shouldn't it? Naming this poem "Pet Prompt" tells me (I only speak for myself) that you didn't take the time to come up with an actual title. It tells me that you aren't taking your poetry seriously. This is all before I read the poem. Imagery: N/A Rhythm/Repetition: As a free verse poem, there isn't a rhythm per se, but there is repetition in the cat's meow. This word is the glue that holds the poem together. Theme: A demanding cat and an owner who talks to it as though they're having a conversation–this is something I can definitely relate to. I have these conversations with my cats all the time. And yes, they usually get their way in the end. I get up and feed them or I move my laptop so they can curl up in my lap.  I enjoy the conversation between pet and owner, and the conclusion with the cat getting its way. I wonder if the owner had planned to nap, or was that for the cat's benefit?  (I've done it myself!) Mechanics/Formatting: There are a few formatting issues I think would help this poem give a better first impression before any words are read.  First, "Written for [Contest Name]" is currently centered above the poem. I always appreciate knowing which contest an item is written for, as well as what the prompt is and any other contest requirements. Including this information at the top and using the same formatting as the poem itself makes it look like it's part of the poem itself. To remove the confusion, I suggest making a {dropnote} at the bottom of the screen–after the poem–with a title like "Author's Note" or "Contest Info" that the reader can click on to find out that information. You could also just move the information to the bottom of the screen, but either way, be sure to keep it left justified, especially if the poem is centered so it won't be mistaken as part of the poem. Second, after the line mentioned above, this is included (also centered): "_Prompt: Pet" I'm not certain why this is included here. The underscore before the word Prompt could be a typo, or it might mean something else to you? If you're telling the reader that this is the prompt you're writing to, that can be included in your note at the bottom of the screen. It's also apparent because it's what you've titled your poem. I suggest removing that line completely. Third, there is a single space separating the prompt at the top from the first line of the poem, but there are two empty lines between the last "Meow" and the final line of the poem. There should only be one empty line between the last two lines, or between any lines within a poem. I almost disregarded the last line because it didn't look like it was part of the poem. I suggest deleting that extra space. Finally, this is a little bit grammar but more style suggestion I thought I'd mention. The last line of the poem reads: "Stretched out on top of me, we both nap together." Since the rest of the poem is dialogue and active, you might reword that line to be more active, or just remove the unnecessary "both" and "together" -- "we nap." Again, and idea and my opinion, there are no rules. Take-Away: This is a cute poem that I think is easily relatable for anyone who's a cat owner (maybe dog owners, too). With a little tidying up of the formatting and a real title (even if it's something as simple as "Milo") I think this poem would be very appealing to the reader. I wish you all the best in your writing pursuits–and good luck with I Write! Write on!    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/03/2024 @ 9:45am EST