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Review #4737020
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

That was a beautiful story. I especially enjoyed how you wrapped the old memories into the present day, as a flashback of sorts while you prepare for the Christmas celebrations now. In the end, you are torn out of your daydreams, and your son’s presence reminds you that you are making and will be making new memories all the time. It just worked perfectly, I thought, to present a well-rounded tale.

I like Christmas, but there were a few aspects I couldn’t relate to at all, for example wanting the Christmas tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving – I don’t put mine up until at least half-way through December. Or baking cookies – I used to do that with my mother, and I tried to get my children interested when they were little, but we never formed that tradition and it somehow got forgotten over the years. It’s great that you have lots of traditions and memories. Some of them might be a little sad but others are happy or funny so over the years, I guess it balanced out.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished – I think there was the occasional comma missing but that’s not a big deal. The main thing I would suggest is to insert paragraph breaks. I can see that you have paragraphs, and you start each new one with an indent, but on a screen, it makes it easier to read if there is a line space between them to stop them all running into one. It might be personal preference so feel free to ignore me, but since I was here, I thought I’d mention it.

*PenP* Final Thoughts:

Although Christmas is long over (or it’s a long time until the next Christmas, however you might want to put it) I enjoyed reading about your memories, the traditions, the gifts and above all, time spent with family. Thank you for sharing!




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