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 Review #4738864 |
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| (4.5)| Hi Rose Praying for Peace   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  I am reviewing your poem, "Invalid Item" , in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .Please remember, these are purely my own opinions, and any advice given is done so with the sole intention of being helpful.  What I liked: The title of this poem grabbed my attention when I first peeked inside your portfolio. I absolutely love it. It brought a huge grin to my face. And that smile didn't leave for the whole time I was reading. I laughed out loud a lot. Your keen observations of how different ageing is for women (and, to a lesser extent, men) today is spot on. I'm at an age now where I can remember my mother being this age, and I thought she was middle aged, getting on. She dressed like an older woman, used hairspray (I loved that part of your poem) and just seemed that much older than I now feel. Of course, it is possible that, to everyone else, I look just as old as she did  I love the beginning of this poem: "Remember the days when their hair was blue? / When they sipped on Sherry" So funny. Anyone over the age of thirty will remember the classic blue rinse. And, sherry? Back to my mum. She almost never drank alcohol, but at Christmas, she was partial to a drop of sherry. Oh, the memories! You have pretty much described my mother in this poem. It's like you knew her! I also think it is an inspired choice to use a blue font for this. Other colours would not have done it justice. This, too, made me happy. Suggestions: I guess the only area I would look, if you were to revise it, is the rhythm. There are a few places where it feels a little bumpy. Some places, too many syllables. I think this poem is free verse, so nothing is set in stone, as far as rhythm and rhymes. But, if you checked out the syllables and stresses for every line, it would it read more smoothly. If you were to read it aloud, it might help you to hear the places to which I refer. Parting Comments: This is a fun poem that succeeded in making me laugh and smile as I read it. It is creative, in terms of the colour, and a precise observation of women once they reach a certain age. Really enjoyable writing. Happy account anniversary! Choconut    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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