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Review #4739856
Viewing a review of:
Saint Paddy’s Day Open in new Window. [E]
Acrostic poem
by Sumojo Author Icon
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Sumojo Author Icon,

I am reviewing your poem, "Saint Paddy’s Day" Open in new Window., in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.. The review comes as Week 13 of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window..

Please remember, any opinions are purely my own, and any advice is given with the sole intention of being helpful.

What I liked: Oh, this poem had me smiling. I entered this contest, also, and I had to reach into the depths of my abilities to do so. I am terrible at acrostics. You, on the other hand, are clearly accomplished with the form.

Your opening line, "Shamrock worn, coloured green," hooked me instantly. It's such a fab visual to show your readers what they are about to read. We all associate green with Ireland, so this really works.

Not only does your poem look good on the page, but it also reads really fluidly. And you have obviously done a little research into St. Patrick as well, giving a few facts of the things he did in his life. The most surprising past is is where you say, "Kidnapped from his English home." I never knew that. Aged sixteen, too. I wonder why he ended up as the patron saint of Ireland.

Suggestions: If I were to suggest one place to look at it would be, "And drink and perhaps romance." This line trips me up, and I can't make it work with the overall rhythm of the poem. It feels like it is missing a beat. But that's just a minor issue. There are a couple of other places where I would say the rhythm is a little uneven. Either they have too many syllables, or the stresses aren't quite right. But these don't affect the overall feeling of happiness and celebration.

I enjoyed reading your poem very much. It's so nice to read a good acrostic. I have so much respect for your talent with this one. I know how tricky they are.

Choconut

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