The Cutting Edge [E] Who's the best Ice Skater? |
Hello StephBee, my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently. First Impression: This wasn’t a sport I knew a lot about before I started reading, so I was both intrigued and a little concerned if I would understand it. I didn’t need to worry because it wasn’t particularly technical, and you explained all the details very well so I didn’t get lost. I liked the descriptions in general; I got a very clear image of the setting and the characters. The innocence of both of the characters struck me as particularly interesting. They met, they liked the look of each other, they admired each others’ professional talent, and they wanted to see each other again. Never mind the fact that one was American and one was Russian - that didn’t concern them, they were simply two people who liked each other. The complications arose because their trainers raised concerns about the other one being ‘the competition’, and some of the other athletes took the opportunity to spread rumours. And still, the two of them went ahead which, everything considered, seemed quite brave. Suggestions: The story was very polished and I only spotted a couple of small errors: The other female skaters come onto the ice Just a typo, “came”. She began to purse him I think that was supposed to say “pursue”? And it’s probably personal preference, but I thought the Comic font didn’t work particularly well here. You made the font sufficiently large so it was easy to read (I often get told that the default size is too small) but to me, a different font would look more professional. Like I said, it’s probably just me so feel free to ignore this! Final Thoughts: I liked this story. Ice skating is such a beautiful sport and the way you describe the two characters practising together was nicely done. I was a little disappointed that the story ended when it did because I would have liked to see the description of Yuri’s routine, which, I’m sure, would have been exceptional. It wouldn’t actually have worked well with the story - you picked a good place to end it, and it made perfect sense not to write any more, but it would have been interesting to read. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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