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Review #4740584
Viewing a review of:
 
Rude Awakening Open in new Window. [13+]
A drummer's last gig.
by Beholden Author Icon
Review of Rude Awakening  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Beholden,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


*PenB* First Impression:

A very detailed description of one drummer’s last concert - or not. You told the story from the drummer’s point of view, and the readers were firmly in his head as he experienced that last show - the enthusiasm from the crowd, the way the band plays together like never before, and his own outstanding performance. I’ve been to a lot of live gigs, and some were not dissimilar to the one in this story, where everything was just perfect, and you did a good job showing that. I could imagine the scene well, and it was interesting to read it from the other side, the performer instead of the audience.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I liked the way the story was formatted, with italics for the main character’s thoughts. In fact, the whole story was very polished, and I only noticed a couple of small errors:

spend me last days
“my last days”

a new wor;d of expression
“world”


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

The main character’s feelings about his ‘last’ show were very apparent throughout the story, as was the way he changed his mind. The way he and the other band members played together came across very well, and I think the readers realised almost before he did that he wasn’t going to walk away from that kind of excitement. I felt I got to know the main character quite well, and I enjoyed the story.




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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/31/2024 @ 8:31pm EDT
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