~With this part: "I ask," said the man noticing... I was confused with the 'I ask' because it doesn't match when he starts talking again. Maybe, 'I'm asking would fit better.

~The last paragraph stopped me for a second. With the quotation marks, I thought that maybe he was talking to someone in the house or something. I think that maybe it would have more impact if he is just thinking it in his head. After all he wouldn't want the neighbor to hear him talking out loud.