Hi BeeJay ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your item as part of the "Game of Thrones"  challenge.

Your Hook
The title is succinct and will attract readers who need your information - while your sub-title sets a pleasant and reassuring tone. It provided me with a sense that this would be personable and helpful, and not like reading a dry or factual medical text.

For my part, My mother had her colonoscopy about a month ago, and so I was a little informed, while also interested to see if her experience differed at all? (We are in New Zealand)


The Characters
You launched directly into the timeline for the prep leading up to the procedure itself, so at first, I was not sure whose experience we were learning this information from.

Later on in the piece, you mention yourself, and some of your sense of humour is (welcomely) revealed. This is after all an invasive and scary situation - so your cheeky comments are appreciated!

Your humour is also reassuring, and it was good to learn that the article was a personal experience and not hearsay.

You became a real person, I felt invested and was then pleased that you revealed your results. Thank you.

Your final comment to then go buy food brings a smile to the face. Wel timed humour again.


Tale Highlight
"If you can't fart then, don't worry...".

Mum didn't tell me that part! I liked your candor, and the 'don't worry' comment! This is exactly the level of detail that makes a personal experience anecdote valuable.

My Recommendations
I didnt spot any spelling mistakes in your work.

I did notice that you have only used one of the possible 3 genres. Medical is definately the correct main genre, but perhaps tag in personal experience and advice also? This will help promote your article to more readers.

Overall
I saw a few differences to my mother's own experience of this, but overall it is much the same. My mother actually got to watch the screen with the camera finding, and unfortunately in her case, it was not good news. But she is 4 days out of the removal surgery today, and keeping up her spirits.

Meanwhile, I very much appreciate your sincerity in writing this piece.


Thank you for sharing your experience with us


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.