Hi Leslie Loo ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your item as part of the "Game of Thrones"  challenge.
Your Hook
The title is an interest grabber! It hooked me at least, when I visited your port today

The Characters
You have two well known characters here, so it makes fine sense that you don't need to detail their appearances, rather you have dived straight into their conversation.

It's written sort of like a play, and the Christmas-sy red and green to differentiate the speakers helps a great deal with the readability.

You have introduced competitive natures upon both Santa and Jesus here, which leads to a lively bantering between them, and many a chuckle for readers.

Both of your characters are 'good guys', but there are times when their competitiveness seems to go a bit too far! But this reminds me of how comedy is supposed to push boundaries, and I think you are doing that well here.

While reading, I didn't really feel I had a favorite to back in this two-horse race, although I felt aware throughout that Santa was fictional, so it felt like Jesus was going to 'win' no matter what. ;)

Dialogue
You dont use " " marks, since this is presented in the style of a play, and I agree that punctuation marks in this instance would just make it look messy.

The conversation flows well, there aren't any forced twists, and you have managed to move from topic to topic well. The use of tornadoes and slow are used well in this!

As is consistent with the play style, there isn't any internal dialogue and we get a good sense of how the characters are feeling through spoken words.

e:HeartBl} Favourite linet
"Alright, listen beard man-

You have a beard too."

I just laughed out loud at that exchange, I'd been thinking Santa was the pot calling the kettle black as I was reading, so then when Jesus pointed this out I just cracked up!

My Recommendations
The only typo I spotted was 'Iam' needs to be 'I am' in the part where they are arguing who is the King of Christmas.

Otherwise, it is word-perfect, well-presented, and correctly tagged. You have been meticulous!

Overall
The end of the story, the unthinkable happens, and jolly old Santa is rendered speechless. Thus we discover the winner of this verbal jousting match.

Geep, but I for one am ready for a rematch!



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.