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 Review #4742296 |
| Hallo t.p2004!  I will be reviewing your work "Invalid Item"  on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: A traveller stops at a hotel, once considered a luxury retreat, only to be confronted by their worst nightmares. Nothing is as it seems. Pluses:You definitely have a way with words. Your ability to paint a scene with wonderful imagery is the stand out of this story. Just the second paragraph alone, already lets us know just how lonely and frightening the environment is. >> Its brass buttons were tarnished, some bearing the scars of countless frustrated pushes. >> Dust motes danced in the shaft of sunlight filtering through a grime-coated skylight, casting long, skeletal shadows across the marble floor. Now, I guess any normal person would ask - "Why would you even decide to stay in such a place? There was no one at the reception desk for crying out loud, and let's not even talk about how dusty and cobwebby the entire place is. Shouldn't that have you running out the door and chasing down that taxi driver?" Unfortunately, and for the sake of story-telling, we cannot allow rationale thinking to get in the way of a good mystery/horror. I am simply reminded of classic movies (especially the black and white ones) that tend to use this particular plot. Cue in the dreadful scary music and you've taken the reader down the world of Vincent Price et. al. There's an air of finality with the last few lines, as the reader is left to assume that there is no hope for the narrator. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. >>Eventually, he put (the) suitcases down    Aside from the little typo noticed, this was a well-written horror short story. Thanks so very much for sharing, and keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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