%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4742333 |
 |  | Targaryen Musings  [ASR] Fire and Blood  |
| (4.0)  This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, SantaBee !  Overall Impression:Congratulations on your win at The Daily Flash Fiction Contest! You've done a great job providing a complete story within the small allocated word count. I'm especially impressed because I struggle to get complete stories together in 2000 words, so I don't quite understand how anyone does it in under 300! Title and Description: The blog's title and description are obviously specific to Game of Thrones. If you want more readers, I'd suggest expanding at least the description to entice them to check out the collection contained within. However, if you're only using the book for the activity and plan on hiding it away once it's finished, then ignore everything I just said. The title of the story itself is straightforward and fits the story. Hook and plot:With small pieces, it's best to get the hook out of the way as fast as possible, and you've done that here with "She left her key behind." It immediately piques the reader's curiosity. The plot is logical and flows nicely. Characters and dialogue:Your characters are both well done, with just enough information to give me a sense of the kind of people they were. I particularly appreciate your attention to the dynamics of a new relationship in terms of consent. It was handled well. You've managed to give the setting a place of its own within the story, mainly when talking about the restaurant. It almost felt like an extra character! The only thing I struggled with (and this was well after the fact) was the key she left behind. It didn't break the story or anything like that, so please know I enjoyed the read. The question that popped up was, "Do people usually carry around spare keys? If they don't, how did she get into her place?" Now, as someone who can barely keep track of one key, it's entirely possible people carry a spare. Myself, I'd end up losing two keys instead of one. And, of course, there are plenty of ways she could have found a way in without her key. I'm probably overthinking it because I have key issues. Grammar and Mechanics:There were no glaring issues I could find. Final Thoughts:Congrats again on your win! Thank you for sharing your work with us! Jayngle Bells  My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 04/06/2024 @ 7:15pm EDT