\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743193
Review #4743193
Viewing a review of:
 Top 10 Reasons Why Patty Never Called Me Open in new Window. [18+]
I could have easily come up with 20 too.
by Jakrebs Author Icon
Review by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A Martell Image


*Exclaim*Hi Jakrebs I thought your story was very captivating. You do know how to keep your readers 'in the palm of your hand with your gripping tale of potential romance'. After I read the whole thing, I wondered if Patty ever called. Maybe she did. Maybe there was a different 'Patty' after that incident in the narrator's life.

I liked the opening of your story. The narrator captures the hearts of the readers by mentioning how he used to write more fiction type stories and poems, but now he seems to lean more toward personal writings. I thought he was sweet to volunteer in a soup kitchen. I have always enjoyed doing volunteer work throughout my life, so this is particularly meaningful to me.

I also thought it was sweet of the narrator to be so nice to the gal with the mental disability, although I was a bit confused by the ARC reference. I wasn't quite sure what that was.

I got the feeling that this Patty person saw goodness in the narrator because he was holding a nice conversation with Ashley about Winnie the Poor and all of those characters. I felt that you did a great job in writing a very realistic conversation between the three people. The rest of their encounters also seemed realistic to me, with their paths crossing while they were doing various tasks at the soup kitchen place.

I thought it was a bit funny how shocked the narrator was when Patty asked him for his number. You did the whole write up of reasons why she never called, but I think it was because he sounded to her like something was wrong when she asked.

I used to enjoy David Letterman's top ten lists! I enjoyed reading yours! You had very humorous suggestions on the list. In your brief introduction, you mentioned that you could easily come up with a top twenty list. I had the feeling that you easily could have. Thanks for sharing your fun story.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Image Protector
Game of Thrones Open in new Window. [13+]
Closed until further notice...
by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/10/2024 @ 11:56am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743193