\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743440
Review #4743440
Viewing a review of:
 
Night of the Fireflies Open in new Window. [13+]
Andrea captures something more than she bargained for
by iKïyå§ama Author Icon
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Kit's Contest and Awards G...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi iKïyå§ama Author Icon,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a very sweet story, dear Kiya. You have such a lovely writing voice. You drew me right into Andrea's world!

I could just picture the little girl, fascinated by the world around her, wanting to study the fireflies. As someone who has never seen any in real life, I would love to see them as well! They're like a treasure to her - though I like the responsible note to release them and let nature be. But not everything is as it seems... You've cleverly inserted some mythology there of the mischievous faeries who might play tricks, or pay revenge. Andrea is fortunate here.

It's not always easy to help the reader bond with characters in a piece of this length, but you've given us enough to work with. Andrea's endearing, and Amaltheia's an interesting character. I would love for them to meet again and for their story to continue, which means that you've done a good job.

All in all, this story brought a smile to my face, so thank you!

Suggestions:

I only have one tiny suggestion:

Paragraph 13:

*Snow2* She adjusted it

I think 'it' should be them.

My Rating:

This is a lovely story, all the more impressive considering it was written during a tough challenge. It makes for a good read.

I did have one suggestion, but it's so minor that I don't feel that it should affect the rating. Therefore, I will give this item a 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

House Lannister image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/11/2024 @ 2:33am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743440