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Review #4743636
Viewing a review of:
No Appointment Necessary Open in new Window. [18+]
Lou Ryan's new case: Dames, Gams, Goons, Goners & Bribes
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi Webbie, yup I'm back again.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: No appointment Necessary

First Impression: Apparently, I don't read enough detective stories because I had no idea what gams was until I reached the part where Lou was lying on the floor checking out Gloria's legs.

What needs your attention: There's a lot of white space at the end, is there more coming to see this piece? This reader wishes there had been something that put us in the setting so we had visual reference to put us in the right mindse,
My only complaint is the font size, us old folks don't have 20-20 vision anymore. I had to expand my screen to read your detective story.

What part I liked best: Gloria distracting the clerk to help her boss get to the judge. Men seldom have plans, let alone a back up plan so Gloria made it happen.
I wish I could say the judge being on the take was unlikey but I can't. Our legal system is a joke.
IN the story Lou and Gloria worked well together as a team.

Overall impression: The dialogue felt natural and the character's actions were believable. The pacing of the story was good. Nicely done.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? 5 of 10
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