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Review #4743997
Viewing a review of:
 To save my soul  Open in new Window. [E]
Not a love poem
by Bex Author Icon
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello Bex Author Icon

First impression:

The combination of the title and intro line "Not a love poem" are peculiar and raise the interest to read on.

What works:

You used all three genres, which is a very good idea because it will help to guide more readers your way.

I like that you did not add an apostrophe before "til" in the first line of the second stanza. This style choice is unusual, but not wrong. I see it rarely and it made me smile that I could see it here.

What needs work:

Consider setting the font size to 4.0. It's hard to read on a screen. Your text is actually nicely presented with a good bit of white space, but the size of the letters could be more. I already have my screen set to 125% and I can't set it higher because it would make me side scroll to see the whole page.

Final thoughts:

The visuals in the poem are at the same time confusing, but also so understandable. The contrast of not being able to thrive in the shade, yet always having to hide away got me thinking about how difficult it is in life to let the self shine while preserving some privacy.

In the second stanza, the sentence

Your words are killing what is left of me

made me think of so many verbal conflicts I have had over time. It is so true that words can really ruin things between two people. If they aren't actually killing the person, they can kill any kind of friendship or feelings of mutual understanding.



Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


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