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Review #4744357
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Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Hello Princess Megan Snow Rose

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Penw* Positives

I enjoyed this poem, especially the various epitaphs that Gertrude wrote and were conveyed throughout the piece. Some of the characters were really unique and their situations were original, which helped the piece stand out.


*Penw* Suggestions

I struggled a bit with the second part of the poem, when it was switched to being about Gertrude herself. The change in focus made for a bit of a jarring juxtaposition against what came before, especially in the last stanza where it went from "Gertrude's job" to "Gertrude suddenly died" in the span of a single line. I think some additional content is needed between those two elements so that it's not so abrupt.

Ending the poem on the sentiment that Gertrude was "a hottie" left me a bit confused. The entire poem up until this point was about Gertrude's job and the people she wrote about; it was a little confusing that the poem didn't just switch perspectives to being about Gertude's life itself, but then about her appearance.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I liked the idea of this poem and think there's a ton of potential here. It's a little rough around the edges in terms of execution, but you've got a great foundation to work with and improve upon. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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