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Review #4744387
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The Smiling Rabbit Open in new Window. [E]
Writer's Cramp entry
by Amethyst Angel 🍁🙏 Author Icon
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Penw* Positives

My favorite part of this story was the parallel with "Little Red Riding Hood" and a few other familiar fairytales/allegories. I thought you did a good job of depicting Sally and the Rabbit, and their interaction with the wolf.


*Penw* Suggestions

It's a little unclear why Sally was still so difficult with the rabbit even after he saved her life. It's actually a little unclear whether Sally was even fazed by the wolf jumping out and threatening to eat her, because the rabbit told his lie before the reader even knows what her reaction is. But, assuming it's one of fear or anxiety, it's strange that she's still so focused on the rabbit's lying when the lie so clearly benefitted her in that scene.

Toward the end of the story, it felt like there was a lack of a resolution because there wasn't much conflict to begin with. I was hoping for a twist or a lesson learned or something, but the story resolved itself rather abruptly and without much conflict or friction.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining story with the familiarity of an old fairytale or children's myth, but the lack of conflict and the characters' single-minded focus on the lying made it feel like the story was missing a little something. Still, it's a great foundation to work from. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/13/2024 @ 2:23pm EDT
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